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I don’t know if you guys know this … but The Big Dance is going on. And it’s kind of a big deal.

The problem

As a completely non-athletic girl with next to no knowledge about any sport ever, I’ve managed to avoid this whole thing for quite a while, actually. It’s easy enough to avoid when you’re in school.

“Sorry guys, can’t watch. Got a paper to write …”, when in reality I actually had no clue what was even going on or who was who.

I thought I was in the clear and wouldn’t have to admit my ignorance to anyone new when I went to work. Because who worries about basketball brackets at work? Oh, that’s right. I work in a creative field. IN INDIANA. Excuse my language, but “Eff.”

I knew I was in for some trouble when creative meetings for clients started to include the term “bracketology” almost a month ago. And then when I found out we do a yearly “Raidious Bracket Challenge.”

The Big Dance is not just a sports thing or a college thing. Apparently, it’s a life thing. Crap.

With the “Raidious Bracket Challenge” in the back of my mind, I knew I was either going to horribly embarrass myself by picking all of the wrong teams or was going to accidentally get myself into a temporarily sticky situation with any co-workers who are diehard fans of whatever team they’ve been talking about.

The solution

With the tournament about to actually begin, I needed to fill out my bracket. (That’s right, I’m totally doing this.) My friends, ranging from those who know only a little about sports to those who are way too serious about this, kept asking me if I’ve filled it out yet. I continuously told them I had no idea what I was doing. Luckily, though, I was reassured that some people fill out their brackets based on team colors or mascots. WHEW. Even better, a friend came to my house one day after work to help my roommate complete her bracket. The offer to help was also extended to me. That’s great and was bound to be helpful, but I felt like I was still going to embarrass myself and/or pick ridiculous teams.

So that’s exactly what I decided to do: potentially embarrass myself and/or pick ridiculous teams. On purpose. I even figured out the best method to do so. My pug was going to pick the teams for me. Yeah, you read that correctly. My pug.

After discussing options with friends on how to get him to pick my teams, we decided on our method. My two friends would each put down a piece of food, one piece right next to the other, while he was facing the other direction. The teams were randomly assigned to my friends, and the food was close enough together that he had to make a conscious choice as to which piece or “team” to eat first. His first choice would advance to the next round.

So if you’re going to make fun of me, go right ahead. I dare you. Just look at that face up there and try it. Harder than you thought, right?

Some of his favorites, you ask? Harvard, Michigan, Indiana, UNLV, and his top choice: Kansas State. You heard it here first.



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